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I'm starting to realize that I was raised very differently than most. It's not just me, though. I've noticed it with all my siblings as well. Something about our upbringing really taught us to go the extra mile for the people we care about. Great news for anyone dating a Pelino, but it sucks balls when you're the one bending over backwards for someone who just takes it without any type of reciprocation. It's not that I do things in anticipation of my boyfriend doing nice things back, I just do things because I care. And because I care, I get a drink when you're thirsty, grab the check when I know you're low on money, see your friends when I'd rather be doing anything else, etc. Its just that I feel like almost every guy I date was raised in such a way that it causes drastic differences in the way we view simple yet major things in life.

and how am I ever supposed to be 100% content with any man I date in life? I may be shooting for the goddamn stars here, but I want to live my life the happiest I can. that includes being with someone who not only is happy to be with me and can make me happy, but who actually is able to keep up with me as well.

"keep up with me." let me expand on that. I go through life at 100mph. that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it, that just means I don't make a habit out of "lazying" around, or take more time than is necessary to complete any given task. on the contrary, I move twice as fast as most people, completing tasks as fast as humanly possible in most cases. not that everyone has to move at superspeed, but you gotta be able to move faster than old people fuck. step two: keep up with me conversationaly (I think I made that word up). if you loose track/interest of what I'm saying four sentences in, then shit!! I enjoy talking, but I like conversing even better. I don't wanna say something just to have you pay zero attention the entire time.

and I have to get out my opinion of add/adhd right now. im not hating on anybody, but shit, over half of America could technically be diagnosed with add/adhd. in my personal opinion, those diagnoses are just an excuse for poor motivation or a lack of self discipline. I think that sums it up nicely, and there should be no need to go into any more detail.

but honestly, at what point does a person have to succumb to the temptation to settle down with a man who falls short of your dreams and expectations? especially when they are as unrealistic as mine. I know I didn't go into as much detail here as I should've in order to portray the whole picture, but in the end, it comes down to this. I am not like anyone you ever have/will meet. there are a lot of things about me that people may consider strange or over the top. if I was a building, I'd be ridiculously extravagant. Balconies, winding staircases, giant windows, beautiful stone exterior, huge wraparound porch, lovely lawn, ceilings seemingly in the sky, intricate interior, every inch of wood carved ever so carefully, wood banisters, trim, even some furniture... I could go on forever. But I won't. Basically, it comes down to this. Maybe I'm the psycho one. Maybe I'm the weirdo. But whatever the case, I am loosing faith that there is anyone perfect for me out there. I know that no one is perfect, but in the eyes of someone else they can be. Maybe my vision is just too sharp.


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